he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize