Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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