so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize