How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
