I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize