Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
