You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
