I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
