i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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