You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just found puke in my bra..
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
