i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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