Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize