marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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