would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
