I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
COCAINE IS GR8
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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