so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
