I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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