I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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