don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
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you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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