She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
