I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
