If that was your dad, he is hot
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
