I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
