...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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