So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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