HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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