You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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