pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
