I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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