Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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