No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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