No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
