This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Brb crying the tears of my youth
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
