Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
