I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize