Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
