I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
