i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
