There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
