How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
