I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
