There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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