Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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