She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
