we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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