I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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