So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He is an equal opportunity slut.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
