Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize