I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
