Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
