I'm jealous of your bromance
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
