dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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