Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
