I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
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