So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
