Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize