True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
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I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
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I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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