im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
how does that bad decision feel?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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