My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
